the cure to being ugly and unstylish is going outside
Worried you're not an it-girl lit-girl eve babitz coded fashionable enigma? Go outside.
Social media fashion and beauty discourse is shot through with a palpable sense of neuroticism - should I wear this? Are we still wearing that? Can I get away with this at my age/weight/height? At the heart of these questions is a core worry about being perceived negatively, a worry about whether people will think you are lame and unstylish, and this concern, as mean as it sounds, makes even the most expensive and well-curated of looks immediately fall flat.
‘Lipstick On A Pig’
It’s fashionable now to bear the ‘realest’ parts of ourselves on the internet, to admit our worries and deepest insecurities. Scroll TikTok as a young woman and you’ll come across video after video of well-meaning body positivity influencers - “I bet you didn’t notice my arm fat”, “I bet you didn’t notice the way my dress clings around my hips”, as well as the inevitable commenters who affirm that they did, indeed, notice those back rolls (or whatever other ludicrous body part is out of vogue today). While the sentiment is one of empathy, of trying to make other people feel less alone, I find it very difficult to see the need to call attention to the parts of yourself you find undesirable, transmitting your own neuroses to someone who may never have even thought about their upper arm flab before they saw your video.
When I come across videos of girls crying as they apply makeup with the caption “pig wearing lipstick”, it might be callous, but my thoughts immediately jump to the words of Edna Mode in The Incredibles: “My God! Pull yourself yourself together!”
Feeling ugly, insecure, and experiencing body or face dysmorphia is a deeply distressing experience, but one wonders how many cases of this are exacerbated by, the constant stream of Instagram Face directly to your phone. Ellen Atlanta’s book Pixel Flesh describes how digital beauty culture harms women, and is worth a read any time you’re wondering why you’re suddenly concerned about your philtrum or googling a blepharoplasty.
That being said, this is not a ‘phones bad for mental health’ article - we already know that, and the body of proof is increasing every day. Before you cry on camera and smear your makeup everywhere (absolutely nuts humiliation ritual to do for free, by the way), sobbing to the internet about how ugly you are, have you tried going outside?
This again sounds insensitive, but it truly is the only cure to this sense of individualism that borders on narcissism that we’ve all developed from seeing ourselves constantly. Outside, there are old people with wrinkles and eye bags, people wearing normal clothes and holey trainers, girls who are bloated from just having eaten a meal, commuters who haven’t had their roots done and men who are losing their hair. When it’s just you and the phone, it’s easy to think that being perfect-looking is a prerequisite to having a fulfilling life, but the streets are joyously full of ugly and unstylish people having dinner with friends, shopping, getting married, and doing whatever the hell else they want. If you live in a major capital like London or New York, a trip to a small town or to mainland Europe might help you gain a sense of perspective the next time you’re tripping out about wearing last season’s handbag.
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